


so I insist on haunting your bed

by ItsSnixx



Category: Given (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon Compliant, Explicit Sexual Content, I Tried, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up, a lot of feelings, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:02:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29922801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsSnixx/pseuds/ItsSnixx
Summary: Akihiko and Ugetsu broke up almost a year ago, but they still find themselves getting drawned to each other. It definitely doesn't help that they still live together.
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Murata Ugetsu
Kudos: 9





	so I insist on haunting your bed

Ugetsu was laughing, a beautiful sound that Akihiko didn’t get to hear often anymore. Not only that, but he was laughing at something _Akihiko_ had said, and that made his heart speed up as he watched mesmerized at the sight of the man in front of him. _So fucking pretty_ , he thought to himself.

They were sitting on the floor with their backs against the bed of their shared basement. Ugetsu had bought an expensive bottle of wine and demanded that they drink it to relax after their busy day, and Akihiko accepted, because he couldn’t say no to the black haired man, not even when he knew the awful wine hangover he would get the next morning would probably make his day a living hell.

“And remember my cousin’s wedding? You got so drunk.“ Ugetsu laughed. At some point the conversation took a turn and they found themselves reminiscing about their shared years together, the times when they’ve been happy. ‘’You spilled champagne on my aunt’s dress.’’

“God, she was furious.’’ Akihiko chuckled. “I’m surprised I made it out of there alive.’’

“And on the way back to the hotel I had to practically drag you through the streets, you wouldn’t stop giggling like an idiot, and…’’ He paused, and looked into Akihiko’s eyes. The blond somehow knew what was coming, and he felt a knot beginning to form in his throat. “And you just kept saying that you loved me.’’ Ugetsu finished, because he was never one to shy away from awkward moments, always at Akihiko’s expense. Akihiko looked stunned, but held the black haired man’s gaze. Ugetsu’s eyes looked cold and uncertain, like the memory pained him at least a little. Akihiko desperately wanted to go back in time a few seconds to the light-hearted moment they were having and wipe that look away. He felt a sudden urge to clarify that he still loved him. If he were braver or stupider enough he would have, because the impeding heartache he knew he’d feel when Ugetsu didn’t say it back somehow paled in comparison to the painful thought that maybe Ugetsu actually _didn’t know_ he was still in love with him, he had to know.

“Ugetsu…’’ Akihiko raised his hand and reached out to softly caress his ex’s cheek, just barely stroking his fingers against it, as if the man before him would vanish into thin air if he dared to come too close. Ugetsu leaned into the touch and gave him a small smile before pulling away altogether and starting to stand up.

“I better get going.’’ Ugetsu said, looking away and straightening his already perfect clothes.

“Where are you going? It’s late.’’ Akihiko asked, confused after snapping out of bubble of feelings he was just in. ‘’I could make something for dinner, whatever you want.’’ He offered, and mentally cursed himself for how pathetic he sounded, always willing to comply Ugetsu’s every whim without hesitation, even now.

“I have a date.’’ He turned around and offered a cold smile, then turned on his heels and grabbed his coat from the coat hanger near the door.

“Right.’’ The blond’s heart sank. Of course he had a date. Akihiko was just his ex who still lived with him, nothing more. He should be used to it by now, since they broke up Ugetsu already went on many dates with other men, even dated a few for a while, but it hurt nonetheless. It wasn’t like he was monk, Akihiko slept around a lot. At first he hoped that it would help him get over his ex, maybe in the process he could even find someone he could develop feelings for, and finally move on, but that didn’t happen. Now he just did it by sheer inertia and for the few moments of bliss an orgasm could give him.

“Don’t wait up, I’ll probably won’t come back tonight.’’ Was the last thing he said before closing the door behind him. Leaving Akihiko alone and miserable. The blond sighed and took a swig from the wine bottle, there was only a few more gulps left, but the burning sensation in his throat was very welcome.

* * *

At almost two in the morning, Akihiko was startled when he heard the front door opening and a frustrated groan that could only belong to Ugetsu, he sat up on the bed and turned to see the black haired man aggressively taking off his shoes and tossing them on the floor.

“Ugh.’’ He groaned and walked into the tiny basement with long strides.

“Bad date?’’ Akihiko asked, feeling contempt with the fact that his ex was back at their house and not who knows where getting fucked by some asshole.

“He was terrible, so pretentious.’’ Ugetsu stood in the middle of the room with his arms crossed over his chest and a sour look on his face.

“That has to mean something coming from you.’’ Akihiko laughed and stood up to go to the kitchen and grab two glasses of water.

“I’m a prodigy, I’m allowed to be pretentious.’’ He scoffed in reply and took the glass the blond handed him. “There’s not a single decent man left in this city.’’

“Then why do you keep going on dates if they’re all terrible?’’ Akihiko asked, a little annoyed at the implication that he wasn’t worthy either.

“A man has needs, you of all people surely understand that better than anyone.’’ Ugetsu responded glaring at him. Akihiko frowned, getting angry at the accusation. Because he would not be sleeping around if his ex hadn’t decided from one day to the other that he didn’t want him anymore.

“At least I know what I’m getting into, I’m not looking for prince charming.’’ The blond said angrily, moving until there were only a few steps between Ugetsu and the wall behind them. The shorter man laughed.

“That’s clear, you certainly won’t find him if you keep fucking those low-life, pathet-‘’ He was cut off by Akihiko moving quickly into his personal space with a deep frown, their faces just inches away from each other. “What? Don’t like hearing the truth?’’ Ugetsu smiled dangerously.

“You don’t get to judge me.’’ Akihiko said in a low tone, looking him straight in the eyes and breathing hard.

“I know you better than anyone, I think I’m the most qualified person to judge you.’’ Ugetsu talked calmly, never losing his nerve. “And I must say It’s a shame how much your standards dropped since I brok-‘’

“Just stop talking.’’ Akihiko hissed, he knew better than to get into an argument with Ugetsu, the black haired man always won, with his sharp tongue and his words like daggers aimed with extreme precision to nail directly where it would hurt the most.

“Make me.’’ Ugetsu said with a vicious smile looking up at him from under his eyelashes. And then Akihiko understood, he suddenly realized Ugetsu had riled him up on purpose and had him right where he wanted him. He felt stupid and tempted to just walk away and not give in, refusing to be a consolation prize after a bad date. But he was always so weak when it came to Ugetsu, he would never pass up the opportunity to touch him when he was allowed to do so.

So he just pressed the black haired man against the wall and smashed their lips together aggressively, his big hands grabbing him forcefully by the waist and pressing their bodies against each other, relishing in the way the violinist squirmed against him. The kiss was desperate and angry, teeth clashing and tongues making their way into each other’s mouths. It felt like coming home. “You’re easy.’’ Ugetsu laughed when they broke the kiss gasping for hair, just pulling away enough to breathe, their noses still touching.

“You’re insufferable.’’ Akihiko said in between hard breaths, wrapping his arms around the smaller body and squeezing him even closer, if that was possible.

“And yet here you are, wanting me anyways.’’ Ugetsu struggled with the blond’s strong grip but managed to move one his legs in between the other man’s thighs, pressing it against his half hard cock. He raised his eyebrows and smiled smugly.

Akihiko groaned and mimicked the motion, shoving Ugetsu hard against the wall and pressing his own knee in between Ugetsu’s legs, satisfied when he felt the other man was just was hard and bucked his hips against his leg. Akihiko attached his mouth to the violinist’s neck and started lapping his tongue in slow, hot strokes, making Ugetsu whimper and rut his erection harder against his leg.

“You act so smug but you want this just was badly.’’ The blond whispered in his ear, nibbling his earlobe. ‘’Look at you, rutting against my leg like a bitch.’’ Akihiko wanted to laugh that cruel little laugh that Ugetsu did so good, but he was so turned on he couldn’t even taunt him convincingly, he loved seeing Ugetsu responding to his touch so desperately.

“If anything, you’re _my_ bitch.’’ The violinist said quietly, the sound of his voice muffled because he had just hid his face into the taller man’s neck, his hot breathing making Akihiko get goosebumps. And the blond knew it was true, _he kind of was_. No matter how much he wanted to be strong and not give in, he would always end up in this position anyways, doing whatever Ugetsu wanted him to. All the shorter man had to do was smile in his direction and he would drop everything and grab every last crumb of affection like a starved man.

“You sure about that?’’ Still, he tried to pretend he was unfazed and maintain some semblance of dignity, failing miserably every time. His voice came out strained and husky, unable to hide how the desire was burning him from the inside out.

So Akihiko gave up trying to bicker and just followed his instinct. His hand reached out to palm Ugetsu’s hard cock over his pants and his mouth attached to the pale neck again, this time biting roughly and sucking hard, eliciting a loud moan from the violinist, who helplessly threw his arms around the taller man’s neck and continued to rut against the friction of his hand, crying out in pleasure.

“Don’t leave marks.’’ Ugetsu half spoke half moaned a little too late, his neck already had at least three reddish bruises, so it was no use.

“You look good in turtlenecks anyways.’’ Akihiko chuckled and continued to suck viciously at the soft skin, making Ugetsu shudder and his resolve crumble. His hands moved to the hem of the violinist’s shirt and felt his stomach’s muscles contract at the contact, he lifted the shirt and moved his mouth to Ugetsu’s collarbone, sucking some more marks there too because _fuck it_ , Ugetsu had asked for this.

Then out of nowhere Ugetsu pulled back just a little, just enough to look Akihiko in the eyes with a burning intensity and grabbed his face with both hands, stroking his strong jaw with his delicate thumbs. ‘’Aki.’’ He whispered softly, and Akihiko’s world stopped. He was frozen in place and was helpless too anything but just clutch the violinist’s lithe body tighter, his big hands spanning his back. That nickname always made his heart flutter in his chest, and Ugetsu knew it, he was the only one who called him that. He wanted so bad to just bask in this rare moment of tenderness, to slow down the pace and just spend hours worshipping Ugetsu like he deserved.

But he knew his heart would ache ten times more than it will already if he let himself do it, let himself _make love_ to the man in front of him. It would feel too much like old times and he couldn’t bear that, so he never let himself consider it for too long. It would shatter him into tiny pieces that he wouldn’t be able to put back together. Akihiko closed his eyes and tried to regain some of the anger he had felt just a few moments ago, before Ugetsu went and made his heart melt with one single word. _Rough sex is okay, rough is safe_ , he thought.

“On your knees.’’ He commanded in the most authoritative voice he could muster at the moment, and Ugetsu immediately dropped to his knees in front of him, happy to comply and looking up at him with those black eyes that always made his knees weak. Akihiko realized bitterly that it didn’t matter how much he tried to act dominant and demanding during sex, Ugetsu was always the one in control and held all the power, the blond was just a mere pawn that would –even unconsciously- do anything he wanted, because all he ever wanted to do was to please Ugetsu.

Unaware of the taller man’s internal meltdown, Ugetsu was working open the belt of Akihiko’s black pants. The drummer seemed to snap out of his thoughts when he felt them being yanked down to his knees, and pressed a steady hand to the back of Ugetsu’s neck, who was now nuzzling his cheek against his straining erection and mouthing at the fabric of his underwear. Akihiko moaned loudly and helplessly pushed the violinist’s head even closer to his own crotch, bucking his hips a little in search of more friction. The sight sent a wave of arousal through his whole body.

Ugetsu took initiative and in a swift motion pulled his underwear down, and without a warning flattened his tongue to lick a fat strip from the base to the head of the thick, hard cock in front of him, tasting a drop of precum that was dripping from the slit.

“You do have a nice cock, I’ll give you that.’’ The violinist smiled as he stroked Akihiko’s cock lazily for a moment before sinking his mouth on it and bobbing his head. Ugetsu moaned around it, enjoying the bitter taste and the weight of it on his tongue, feeling a rush of satisfaction in his chest when he heard the taller man curse under his breath and his hand tighten on the back of his hair.

Akihiko used the grip on Ugetsu’s hair to pull him back and lift his head just enough to make the shorter man look him in the eyes. He already looked wrecked, with his rosy cheeks and watery eyes. With his other hand he grabbed his own cock and pushed the head inside Ugetsu’s mouth. The violinist immediately understood and got comfortable on the floor, closing his eyes and relaxing his throat so that Akihiko could begin to fuck into it. The taller man moaned and whimpered loudly as he pushed his hips forward into the wet heat of his ex’s mouth, only slowing down a little when he heard Ugetsu choke, even though the sound made him his cock throb.

“Get up.’’ Akihiko ordered in a deep voice, and Ugetsu did as he was told. The taller man immediately grabbed him by the back of his legs and picked him up to kiss his harshly against the wall, letting himself enjoy the feeling of Ugetsu’s mouth pressed against his’ before taking a few steps and carefully tossing him on their shared bed.

Akihiko quickly took of his own shirt off, which felt like it was burning his skin and then got rid of Ugetsu’s pants along with his underwear, leaving him naked and panting in between the sheets. He circled the bed to get to the nightstand and grabbed a condom and lube, then he placed himself on top of Ugetsu and looked down at him, his gaze was met by a pair of black eyes that felt like they were looking directly into his soul, and Akihiko couldn’t resist leaning down and kissing him again, quick and desperate. Ugetsu spread his legs to let him settle in between them.

With a shaky hand he grabbed the lube and coated his fingers with it, then moved his hand to circle Ugetsu’s rim as the violinist sighed in pleasure.

“Don’t tease.’’ Ugetsu whispered in a wretched voice that made Akihiko smile, so the blond took pity on him and carefully shoved a finger inside his hole, his cock twitching when Ugetsu started whimpering and his hips began moving to gracefully met the thrusts of his fingers. “M-more.’’ He moaned. Akihiko pushed a second finger in, because he was so hard it was starting to hurt and he wasn’t sure how long he would last if Ugetsu kept moaning and writhing like that, it was truly a sight to behold. “God, I love your fingers.’’ The violinist said in between moans, still bucking his hips down shamelessly to fuck himself on the fingers. And Akihiko’s head was already so messed up by now that he felt a pang of pain in his chest when he realized it had been a long time since he last heard Ugetsu say he loved _anything_ about him.

Akihiko buried his face in Ugetsu’s neck, sucking and biting at the skin to distract himself and shake those thoughts away, he pushed a third finger in when he felt Ugetsu’s hole was already loose enough for it. He stayed like that for a few minutes, losing himself in the feeling of heat around his fingers and enjoying the way Ugetsu kept moaning against his ear, cursing under his breath and whining every once in a while.

“Fuck me.’’ Ugetsu managed to say breathlessly into the drummer’s ear, throwing his arms around his neck. “I need you, just fuck me.’’ And who was Akihiko to deny him when he asked so nicely? In a swift motion the blond rolled a condom on his cock and slicked himself up, as he looked down at Ugetsu with a predatory smile. At least now, for some brief moments, he knew for sure _he_ was in control.

“How badly do you want it?’’ Akihiko asked, stroking his cock lazily, he was throbbing and leaking precum into the condom, but he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to make Ugetsu feel as desperate for his touch as he himself felt most of the time. The black haired man only whined louder and groaned, looking up at him with hooded eyes. “C’mon, if you want it you’ll have to beg for it.’’

“ _Please_ , I need your cock inside me, please. Aki, I need to feel you, ah fuck!-‘’ Ugetsu caved in and was immediately cut off by Akihiko pushing his cock inside of him and breathing hard, looking down at him with hungry eyes. Ugetsu mewled and after a few seconds asked him to move. Akihiko began to push his hips forward, slowly at first, until felt the other man was loosening up to adjust to his cock. The blond propped himself with one arm on each side of Ugetsu’s head and leaned down to kiss him once again. The kiss was sloppy and messy, Ugetsu couldn’t stop moaning against Akihiko’s mouth and the drummer drank in every precious sound falling from his lips.

Akihiko picked up the pace and thrusted harder, deeper. That made Ugetsu wrap his arms around his neck and rake his nails down his broad back, feeling the muscles contracting under his long fingers. The stinging sensation was very welcome and it only made Akihiko’s thrusts more erratic and desperate.

“You’re beautiful.’’ Akihiko hissed, leaning down to kiss the spot behind Ugetsu’s ear that always made him sigh. Ugetsu sank his nails harder on the tender skin of his back and made an attempt to lift his hips to meet Akihiko’s thrusts, they were completely out of synch but Akihiko _loved it_. He felt lightheaded and was helpless to do anything but moan and shift the angle of his hips trying to find Ugetsu’s prostate.

It’d been weeks since they last slept together, and every time in between Akihiko managed to convince himself that maybe it wasn’t as good as he remembered, maybe he could be perfectly contempt even if he never got to touch Ugetsu again. But then it happened again, and Akihiko was back to wondering how he could ever live without this. Even if he knew the aftermath would later feel like a thousand needles in his chest, knowing that having Ugetsu’s body didn’t mean he also had his heart. Still, every time it felt so good he felt like could die there on the spot, and he would be perfectly contempt.

“Fuck! Yes, right ther- _ah_ , harder.’’ Ugetsu almost sobbed and clung on to Akihiko for dear life after a particularly hard thrust, so the drummer tried to aim at that spot again and again, until Ugetsu was practically screaming into his ear and had tears welling up in his eyes. The room was filled with the sound of loud moans, grunts and skin slapping against skin. Akihiko was close, so he wrapped a hand around Ugetsu’s leaking cock and began jerking him off.

“You’re mine. No one can fuck you like me.’’ Akihiko groaned, dizzy with desire and snapping his hips mercilessly, going in deeper every time. “You’re mine.’’ He repeated, tightening his grip on Ugetsu’s cock, making him whimper. “Say it, say you’re mine.’’ Akihiko’s voice turned desperate and almost pleading, but Ugetsu didn’t say a word, just looked into his eyes with his mouth parted, looking like a deer caught in headlights. And he was _so beautiful_.

Akihiko let it go and just thrusted in and out as hard as he could, desperate for release and still stoking the violinist’s cock. It only took a few seconds until Ugetsu was coming, spilling into Akihiko’s fist, his legs shaking. The blond didn’t stop, keeping up the fast and forceful pace until he found his own release, biting into Ugetsu’s shoulder to muffle his moans. Akihiko collapsed on top of the delicate body beneath him.

They laid in that position for a few minutes, both panting and trying to catch their breaths. Just as Ugetsu began to lazily caress Akihiko’s back drawing small imaginary circles, the blond sat up and rolled over to sit on the edge of the bed.

The familiar feeling of dread started creeping up Akihiko’s chest, making him snap out of his blissful mood as he realized that this didn’t mean anything, _again_. He couldn’t curl up into Ugetsu’s chest and let the sound of the violinist’s beating heart lull him to sleep anymore, it was just sex. And he didn’t regret it, not at all. Akihiko would never regret touching Ugetsu, he just wished he was strong enough not to let his damn feelings get the better of him. He wordlessly got up to discard the condom and then grabbed a cloth to clean them both up.

After putting his underwear back on, Akihiko sat back again on the bed, sighing and looking straight at a stain on the wall, willing his heart to stop beating so fast and mustering the strength to lay down next to Ugetsu without caving in to the urge to hold him close and beg him to take him back.

“I am.’’ Ugetsu’s voice snapped him out of his trance.

“Huh?’’ Akihiko asked, turning around to see him sitting up on the bed, already under the covers and looking so delectable covered in hickeys and bite marks.

“I _am_ yours.’’ The shorter man replied, holding his gaze just for a fleeting second before quickly laying down and rolling over, pulling the covers up to his neck and curling himself into a ball. Akihiko’s heart skipped a beat and for a moment he forgot how to breathe, but then Ugetsu spoke again. “Doesn’t mean we belong together anymore though.’’ And the tiny spark of hope that had ignited in his chest died as soon as it was born.

Akihiko got up walked into the kitchen. Then he lit up a cigarette and swallowed the lump in his throat, tears prickling his eyes threatening to come out. He didn’t know how much time he stood there, motionless and trying to ignore the actual physical pain he felt inside his chest. A realization crashed on him like a bucket of cold water.

 _He needed to move out_ , maybe that way he could salvage the mangled remains of his broken heart.

A little cruel voice in his head spoke up at the thought, saying it wouldn’t fix anything. And Akihiko was inclined to agree, bitterly.

In the end he knew that even if was shattered in a thousand pieces, his heart would only ever beat for Ugetsu.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm late to the party but I just finished watching Given and the movie and I have a lot of feelings for this ship, Ugetsu literally owns my soul  
> It's my first time writing a smut scene this long I did my best, also english isn't my first language so feel free to point out any mistakes  
> fun fact: I literally had to google synonyms of ''thrusting''  
> I have a few more ideas to write Akigetsu one-shots so if you're intrested please let me know!  
> Comments are always appreciated :)


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